Liu Yi
After a few months of this, Liu Yi felt that he had changed a bit. However, within a new environment that God set up, he saw that changing a corrupt disposition is no easy task, and that it requires undergoing more judgment and chastisement of God’s words before cleansing and transformation can be achieved.
At a later point, both Liu Yi and Sister Zhang Rui were selected as team leaders to manage the work of editing articles together. One day they were talking about work with a few other brothers and sisters in their team, discussing how to divide up and cooperate on a couple of tasks. As the discussion progressed, a difference of opinion emerged between Liu Yi and Zhang Rui due to their different viewpoints. Liu Yi thought that he had a great idea and that everyone should agree to it, and that Zhang Rui in particular should support him as someone working alongside him. To his surprise, Zhang Rui directly shot down his idea. He was really embarrassed, thinking: “Why can’t you give me a little bit of an out? Doesn’t going against me in front of so many brothers and sisters make me look inadequate as a team leader?” Trying to save face, Liu Yi then said a few contrary things to back Zhang Rui, which results in them parting on bad terms. Later on, Liu Yi wanted to have a good talk with Zhang Rui about it, but as soon as he thought about how she had made him look bad in front of everyone, he could no longer let go of his views and bias against her; he let go of the idea of seeking her out for a talk. As they continued to perform their duty together, even though Liu Yi saw Zhang Rui revealing an arrogant disposition and relying on her gifts and caliber to do the work, or even being arbitrary at times, he didn’t provide her with any help. Instead, he thought to himself viciously: “All you care about is work; you don’t know yourself at all. It’s obvious that you’re not someone who pursues the truth, and you’re bound to fail and go down sooner or later!” Since Liu Yi was never able to put himself aside and relied on his corrupt disposition in dealing with Zhang Rui, when he saw her issues, he didn’t offer any help. This led to her constantly living within her arrogant disposition and not understanding herself, which held up the work of the church. Zhang Rui was later dismissed from her duty as team leader. Their leader dealt with Liu Yi, saying: “Sister Zhang was dismissed; you are also directly responsible for it. You were working together and you saw the issues she was having. Why didn’t you have fellowship with her and help her? This also reveals your own malicious nature.” Exposed by his leader, Liu Yi felt a bit of an internal awakening as well as somewhat reproached. He felt that he really hadn’t handled the situation correctly, but he had still found it was difficult to overcome the constraints of his corrupt disposition. In addition, he hadn’t been able to seek the truth to resolve the issue in time. After Zhang Rui was dismissed, she was placed within the team to reply to articles. Even though Liu Yi was aware of Zhang Rui’s experience of having failed and stumbled, and knew it was a time that she needed help and support, as soon as he thought of how Zhang Rui had damaged his face, he felt unwilling to fellowship with her.
One afternoon the sky suddenly darkened and the air began to feel heavy. There were a few brothers and sisters inside quietly editing articles, and Liu Yi walked over to Zhang Rui’s desk and gave her a few suggestions on a piece that she had worked on. Zhang Rui looked at the article and pondered it for a moment, then said irritably: “I don’t feel that some of the things you’ve brought up are a big issue. There’s no need to change them.” All the brothers and sisters looked over at Liu Yi at the same time, and he thought to himself, feeling awkward and angry: “You haven’t accepted any of the suggestions I’ve made recently. You look down on me, don’t you? You think that we used to be on equal footing but now I’m not qualified to point anything out to you? If you’re always shooting down my suggestions, aren’t I team leader in name only?” Right then little droplets of rain began falling and Liu Yi became very irritable. The more he dwelled on his past experiences performing his duty with Zhang Rui, the more his bias grew. After that, when Zhang Rui asked Liu Yi for help when she ran into problems at work, he felt really resentful and gave her the cold shoulder. He paid no attention to her work, and still wouldn’t help her even after seeing that her performance was poor. When Zhang Rui raised some positive suggestions for their team’s work, Liu Yi was unwilling to listen, thinking that she was intentionally making him look bad. He was also concerned that if Zhang Rui kept bringing up issues that way, the other brothers and sisters in the team would start to look down on him. So, the notion to get her out of the team cropped up in his mind and he made a complaint to his upper-level leader in an effort to get Zhang Rui’s duty adjusted. He then started inquiring about which teams in the church were lacking people. When talking to other team leaders, on the surface he praised her strong points, but in reality, he just wanted to foist her off on another group. One time when he was collecting evaluations on Zhang Rui, he even wanted to delete all the other brothers’ and sisters’ positive evaluations on her, but started to feel uneasy just as he was doing it, so he canceled the deletion. He realized that what he was doing was wrong, so he told his upper-level leader, who sternly dealt with him: “Do you know the nature of modifying brothers’ and sisters’ evaluations? It’s punishing and fixing someone!” Hearing this was very upsetting for Liu Yi. He never imagined that he could do something so sinister and vicious—he could hardly even face himself.
In his self-reproach, Liu Yi wanted to seek the truth to resolve his own corrupt disposition. Once, in his devotionals, he saw the following from God’s words: “Isn’t the character of the action of taking revenge malicious? It does contain a malicious nature. If someone didn’t have a malicious nature, they wouldn’t think of taking revenge. … People think like this: ‘If you’re not going to be kind, then I won’t be just! If you’re rude to me, then I’ll be rude to you as well! If you don’t treat me with dignity, why would I treat you with dignity?’ What sort of thinking is this? Is it not a vengeful way of thinking? In the views of an ordinary person, is this type of perspective not viable? Does it not hold water? ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth’; ‘here’s a taste of your own medicine’—among unbelievers, these are rationales that hold water and are accepted as above-board. Some people even think that this is how an upright and honorable person should behave. However, as someone who believes in God—as someone who seeks to understand the truth and seeks a change in disposition—would you say that such words are right or wrong? Are these perspectives right or wrong? (Wrong.) Why is that? Where do such things come from? They come from the malicious nature of Satan; they contain venom, and they contain the true face of Satan in all its maliciousness and ugliness. They contain the very essence of that nature. What is the character of the perspectives, thoughts, expressions, speech, and even actions that contain that nature’s essence? Are they not of Satan? Are these aspects of Satan in line with humanity? Are they in line with the truth, or with the reality of the truth? (No.) They are not the actions, thoughts, or perspectives that followers of God should possess” (“Only Resolving Your Corrupt Disposition Can Free You From a Negative State” in Records of Christ’s Talks). “In your everyday lives, in what things, and in how many things, do you have God-fearing hearts, and in what things do you not? Can you hate people? When you hate someone, you think to yourselves, ‘I want to make that person suffer, punish that person, and take my revenge against that person’—can you do that? (Yes.) Well then, you are quite scary! You do not have God-fearing hearts. That you could act on those impulses is way too frightening; this disposition is quite vile and very serious! … If you were given a position, you could punish people; as such, you could turn into an antichrist at any moment. What sort of person is one who becomes an antichrist? Is he or she not one who will be eliminated?” (“The Five Conditions People Have Before They Enter the Right Track of Believing in God” in Records of Christ’s Talks). Liu Yi felt really distressed after reading God’s revealing words of judgment. He realized that he had always lived by the satanic, worldly philosophies like “If someone doesn’t tread on me, I won’t tread on them; I have to strike back at whoever does.” It was even to the point that he had become arrogant, small-minded, and merciless. He didn’t have any love or tolerance for his brothers or sisters, much less could he get along harmoniously with others. When his brothers’ and sisters’ words or actions impinged on his own interests, he bottled it up in his heart, even thinking of everything to punish them, to teach them a lesson, to exact revenge. When Zhang Rui wouldn’t accept his suggestions at work, when she inadvertently stepped on his face and status through her words and actions in front of other brothers and sisters, he held on to it and was at daggers drawn with her. When he saw her revealing corruption or in a negative state in performing her duty, not only did he fail to help her, but saw it as a joke. When Zhang Rui was replaced and she was living in weakness and negativity, needing help and support, he didn’t fellowship on the truth with her to help her out because he couldn’t let go of his own biases. He even gloated over it. When Zhang Rui pointed out problems in his performance of his duty, he complained to his upper-level leader to have Zhang Rui’s duty changed in order to preserve his own status and image among others. He even used his own power to try to get her transferred to another team, even attempting to delete other people’s positive evaluations of her so that others wouldn’t be able to see anything good in her. He belittled her and fixed her to root out anything that went contrary to himself. Realizing this, Liu Yi saw how sinister his nature is; he thought about how antichrists discriminate against anyone who doesn’t agree with them, and how they suppress and punish brothers and sisters for their status. In an effort to hold on to his own position and image in everyone’s minds, he struck out at Zhang Rui in revenge. He saw that the nature of his behaviors and manifestations was the same as the antichrists who had been expelled from the church. At this thought, he felt a lingering dread. He also recognized that being able to lash out at and take revenge on his sister was entirely from being controlled by his malicious nature. He didn’t have a heart of reverence for God in the least, and he was on the road of an antichrist. If he didn’t repent but continued on that way, sooner or later he would commit great evil and bring disaster down upon him; he would offend God’s disposition and face the possibility of being eliminated by God at any time. Once this occurred to him, Liu Yi couldn’t help but pray out to God: “Oh God! From being exposed by You I have seen that I truly lack humanity. I’m so despicable and evil. I no longer want to live by my corrupt disposition. Oh God! May You guide me so that I may treat my sister based on the principles of the truth and be a person who possesses humanity.”
One day, the sun was shining radiantly and the birds were chirping merrily outside of the window; it was a scene of vitality and abundance. Liu Yi was in the middle of a gathering with a few brothers and sister, opening up about the corruption he had revealed over this period of time and seeking on how to enter in. Sister Li, a church leader, smiled and said: “Brother Liu, I can see that you’ve gained some knowledge of your own malicious nature from this experience, but you’re still lacking knowledge of God. We still need to know God from this experience, which will be of greater benefit to our life entry. Let’s take a look at a passage of sermons and fellowship.” Sister Li opened up her app and read aloud: “God is a righteous God. Does He have love for corrupt humanity? Does He have hate? He has both love and hate. Where does His love come from? Humanity was created by Him. God regards all humanity He created as His flesh and bones, so He loves humanity in the same way as He loves His own flesh and bones or the way He loves the pupils in His eyes. What does He hate about humanity? He hates the corrupt disposition that exists within humanity, He hates the satanic poison that exists within mankind, He hates the evil that exists within man, and He hates how they follow Satan and defy Him. Because of His hatred for Satan and for the corruption of man and man’s God-defying nature, He implements judgment, chastisement, dealing and pruning in order to save mankind. This is God’s love and hate. What manifestations can we see of God’s love for us? In order to save us, God has suffered so much pain, spoken so many words and paid such a price. He has endured so much of our rebelliousness, defiance and judgment, and regardless of how weak we are, how much we rebel against Him, how negative we are or how much we defy Him, God endures it all and patiently uses His words to enlighten us, comfort us and guide us. Especially when we reveal all kinds of corruption, and when we are weak or when we have grown distant from Him, all along He pities, pardons and forgives us. He does not see our weakness or corruption—He just persistently does His work. From God’s disposition, we can see that God is very lovable. At this time, we can see that, even though God is angry at us, judges us or chastises us, He still loves us very much. He does this completely out of love. That is why, through our experience, we feel more and more that only God is love. Without God, there is no love, corrupt humanity has no love whatsoever, and all that Satan has is hate” (The Meaning of Obtaining the Truth and the Characteristics of Those Who Obtain the Truth). After reading the passage, Sister Li fellowshiped: “We can see from this that God’s disposition is righteous, and that there are principles to both His love and His hate for man. Although God judges and chastises us because He hates our satanic natures, it’s all for us to escape from our own corruption and rebelliousness; He has never given up on saving us because our corruption is so deep. Instead, He has tirelessly given us watering and sustenance so that we can understand the truth and gradually achieve change. He tolerates our rebelliousness and opposition in order to save us; regardless of our transgressions, He continues to work as always, patiently comforting and exhorting us with the goal of waiting until we awake and turn toward Him. It’s clear that God’s essence is incredibly kind! His salvation for mankind is genuine, and everything He does in man is love. There isn’t the slightest aspect of hatred. However, we have been very deeply corrupted by Satan and all we have for others is hate, not love. We even take revenge on others, fix them, and punish them to safeguard our own interests, bringing them nothing but injury and suffering.” At this moment, Liu Yi felt full of shame, and saw how beautiful and kind God’s life is, and that his own nature is so ugly, so malicious! Sister Li went on: “God requires that we treat others the way He treats us, and we need to seek God’s will in how to treat Sister Zhang in this matter. God is forgiving, teaching, and encouraging those He wants to save, so we should also practice the truth according to God’s requirements. Only this is in line with His will.” Liu Yi nodded in acknowledgment. He understood that Sister Zhang was a true believer and they were of the same spiritual family. He should not treat her with such malice, but should set aside his own biases and hostility, treating her as is required by God’s will. Liu Yi then gained the resolve and the motivation to put the truth into practice.
The next morning, fresh air wafted in when Liu Yi opened the window and the sun’s rays danced in the leaves of trees. He walked over to his desk, quieted his heart, and made a prayer to God, then opened up his book to this passage of God’s words: “One can hate another person—that is a part of normal humanity; however, actually being able to act on that hate and exact vengeance to achieve one’s own goals and purposes is pretty scary. Some people just hate, and leave it at that. After a while, if they cannot get along with the people they hate, they will start to distance themselves from them and avoid them; however, they do not let this affect their duty or influence their normal interpersonal relationships. They do not act on their hate because they have God in their hearts. Even though they have this idea of hate, this evil thought, they do not act upon it. Because they fear God, do not want to offend God, are afraid to offend God, and they possess God-fearing hearts, they therefore do not utter a word that is out of line. They feel they cannot get along with someone, or have some thoughts and views about them, but they never take any actions, and would not offend God on this matter. What kind of behavior is this? It is conducting oneself and handling things with principle and impartiality. ‘Although I am incompatible with this person’s humanity and personality, when we work together, I remain impartial, and won’t take my frustrations out on my duty, sacrifice my duty, or take them out on the interests of God’s family.’ You may not like this person, but you can still do things according to principle. As such, you have a basic God-fearing heart. If you have a bit more than that, you will be able to help them. When you see they have some faults or weaknesses, even if they have offended you or affronted you, or harmed your interests, you can still help them. This would be even better; this would mean that you are a person who possesses humanity, the reality of truth, and a God-fearing heart. If you cannot achieve this with your current stature but can do things, conduct yourselves, and treat people in accordance with principle, then this also counts as having a God-fearing heart; this is most fundamental” (“The Five Conditions People Have Before They Enter the Right Track of Believing in God” in Records of Christ’s Talks). God’s words really caught Liu Yi’s eyes, giving him even more of the path for practice. He understood that treatment of others should be based on the principles of the truth and shouldn’t just follow a corrupt disposition. He had to always hold a heart of reverence for God and in all things learn to put himself aside, practice the truth, and not do things that hurt others so that he and his brothers and sisters could love each other. This was the reality of the truth that he needed to enter into. He later proactively opened up to Zhang Rui about the corruption he had revealed in their cooperation on their duties. Hearing his fellowship, Zhang Rui didn’t try to settle the score with him at all, but on the contrary began recognizing her own corruption; she also opened up in fellowship on some of her views of him from before. Through this heart-to-heart, Liu Yi discovered that his revenge and attacks on Zhang Rui had been very restrictive and hurtful for her and had seriously hindered the team’s work. He felt very guilty and indebted. Liu Yi gained real understanding of the serious consequences of living by his own malicious nature; he also gained a taste of the peace and comfort of practicing the truth and living according to God’s words. After that, he and Zhang Rui were able to fulfill their duty together normally.
Following this, when Liu Yi encountered situations where brothers’ and sisters’ words touched upon his own face and status, he was better able to let go of it and not lash out or take revenge on them out of hot-bloodedness. Instead, he would first accept it and reflect on his own issues. If the other person was right, he would accept it without any conditions. Sometimes the other person was also revealing a corrupt disposition, so he learned to put himself in their shoes, consider what was behind their words, and have empathy for their actual stature and difficulties. He didn’t hold grudges against others, but instead fellowshiped on God’s words through love, helping them understand their own corruption. After this kind of practice, his relationships with the brothers and sisters got better and better; they were sincere in their interactions and could cooperate harmoniously. The hostility and biases no longer ruled his heart. Liu Yi truly experienced that it was the revelations and the judgment of God’s words that allowed him to gain a bit of understanding of his malicious nature and have a bit of reverence for God. It also allowed him to treat his brothers and sisters with some genuine love. It was clear to him that being able to reap this harvest and having a bit of change was entirely achieved through the judgment and chastisement of God’s words. He offered up thanks and praise to God from the depths of his heart!
Source From: The Hostility in His Heart Is No Longer Growing
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