Christian Reflections: I Now Know How to Get Rid of Sin
By Anna, Germany
Weeping in Sin
In 2001, I followed my mother in believing in the Lord, and not long after, I joined the church and began my service. I saw that my brothers and sisters were able to love one another, just like a family, which made me feel especially close to them. I enjoyed attending meetings and singing hymns in praise of the Lord with my brothers and sisters, and in my heart, I thought of the church like my own family. After that, I tested into a theology institute and began studying the Bible.
Gradually, I discovered more and more unlawful things in the church. Many brothers and sisters lived in sin and were unable to practice the Lord’s teachings. The principal of the Sunday school and his wife often schemed to benefit themselves. When humanitarian organizations donated aid, they would immediately pick out some of the best items for themselves, and even the pastor took part in this behavior, but the poor families in the church would rarely get anything. Small group leaders were also especially prideful and arrogant. They often exalted themselves in our presence and placed constraints on others. The church members served the Lord for the sake of their own status and interests, and they often condemned other churches as bad and belittled others. While their words and actions within the church seemed pious, what they lived out in their lives was arrogance, cunning, and selfishness, as if they were entirely different people. I was the same. In church I behaved very well, and even when others asked me to do things I didn’t like, I would do my best to bear it, overcome my discomfort, and not expose my displeasure, but at home I was arbitrary, self-important, and at times I even shouted at my mother. After I got married, when my husband and child didn’t do as I asked, I would lose my temper at them. I thought of how at Sunday school I taught children to carry out the Lord’s teachings and be loving and tolerant toward others, but I couldn’t practice those things in my own life, and I realized I was living in sin. I often prayed for the Lord’s forgiveness for this, but nothing changed. I felt distraught and confused, “The apostle Paul said, ‘There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death’ (Romans 8:1–2). We believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Lord forgives our sins. Our sin is removed, which ought to mean that we no longer sin, but why do I still live in sin? Why can’t I practice the Lord’s teachings? When will I finally be able to stop sinning?”
I asked the preachers about my confusion, but they had no answers. They simply told me to have faith in the Lord. Their answers left me without a path. Church meetings were no longer any help to me, so I stopped going to meetings. Afterward, I often watched Christian movies on YouTube, seeking the spiritual sustenance of life. I watched many sermons and lectures by many pastors and elders, but none of these could help me change, nor could they provide me any spiritual life growth. I still lived in a state of sinning during the day and confessing my sins at night. I didn’t know when I could stop sinning, and over this I often prayed, cried, and begged the Lord for help.
A Light Appears As God Hears My Prayers
One day in 2018, as I was searching for Christian movies, a film called Where Is My Home caught my eye, so out of curiosity, I clicked and watched it. In the film, I saw that the protagonist and preachers weren’t reading the Bible, but instead were reading the book The Word Appears in the Flesh. I had never seen this book before, but the words in the book contained truth and were able to resolve people’s practical difficulties. The film’s protagonist, Wen Ya, had experienced her parents divorcing as a child, after which she endured the torment of her mother becoming seriously ill and her father passing away. Yet when she felt discouraged and hopeless, it was God who saved her. The words in The Word Appears in the Flesh allowed Wen Ya to understand that we, as humans, have been corrupted by Satan, and we all live in misery with no hope of escape, and that only by coming before God can we find protection and live happily. Later, Wen Ya was able to emerge from her torment and find her true home. From the film, I saw that the words in The Word Appears in the Flesh truly were wonderful. They were able to give me strength. I thought, “Just who could allow us to know God’s disposition? Who could clearly explain the sinfulness and evil of mankind? Who could understand the reason mankind is in torment? And just who could resolve the problem of people living in torment?” I felt that these words had authority, and couldn’t have been spoken by any person. I was very interested in this book, because I felt these words could improve my relationship with God.
So, I continued to watch movies from The Church of Almighty God. I watched the film Salvation, in which the protagonist enthusiastically expends for God, forsakes everything to fulfill his duties, and even though the CCP arrests and tortures him, he resumed his duties after being released. He thought that because he had suffered, traveled far, understood much of the truth, and was someone who had knowledge of God, he ought to be qualified to enter the kingdom of heaven. But later, a sudden trial comes to him. His wife is captured and tortured to death by the CCP police, and when he learns of this, he complains against God, blames God, misunderstands God, and loses his faith in God. In his torment, through Almighty God’s words, he comes to reflect on himself, and realizes that he believes in God and performs his duties to gain blessings, and that when trials come, he is still capable of misunderstanding and blaming God. After that, by reading Almighty God’s words, he understands that he can still rebel against and resist God, and that he has not truly gained salvation. Only those with sincere love and obedience for God can attain full salvation. As he undergoes this trial, his fallacious view and mistaken notions about belief in God are changed, he develops new faith in God, and he continues to serve God. Watching that movie made me see that my own love for God was far from sufficient. If I were in the same position as the protagonist, I didn’t know if I would remain loyal to God. The experiences of the film’s protagonist gave me confidence that I should strengthen my faith, continue to follow God, and experience similar circumstances so that God could purify my corrupt dispositions, because only then would I have a chance to enter the kingdom of heaven.
Later, when I watched movies on the arrests, torment, and torture suffered by brothers and sisters in The Church of Almighty God at the hands of the CCP, I noticed that as they experienced persecution and trials, the words of Almighty God were the basis of their faith. I wanted very much to read these words, because I felt these words were the truth, or it would be very difficult for these brothers and sisters to remain loyal and follow God while being so cruelly persecuted by the CCP government. I deeply admired their immovable faith and desire to serve God, and I felt that this was the result achieved by the work of the Holy Spirit, because it was impossible for people to produce such testimony. After seeing all these things, I was even more curious about The Church of Almighty God.
Read the full text: https://www.holyspiritspeaks.org/gospel/how-to-get-rid-of-sin/
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